Favorite Thing #26: Pond Hockey

Pond Hockey -the great North American past time. It involves balancing on tiny blades of steel and pushing a small flat circular object around on a frozen surface while freezing your ass off. Generally, it does not involve the massive amounts of protective equipment that pansy NHL players wear, and thus is more affordable to the masses. Pond hockey is probably the only thing I like about winter. Today, I got to play around on the ice for the first time in several years (stupid global warming). In an attempt to convert more people the pond hockey cult, I've compiled a list of rules every pond hockey player should know:

1. Spend more time shoveling off the ice than you do on skates.
Sure two women spent twice as long as you did on skates. And they spent the whole time passing the puck around. But you shoveled 2000 yards of ice. That makes you the winner in the manly department.


2. Make sure to dress properly
Expensive protective gear is for sissys. All you really need is a stick, some gloves, a classic '92 Ray Bourque jersey and a hat. Glass of wine optional.


3. Be sure to warm up properly.
John learned this move from Tim Thomas. It ensures your muscles are nice and warmed up for moves such as the belly flop, yard sale, and spinning turtle shell. Alcohol is great for raising your body temperature. Especially wine. It shows you are a real classy person.



4. Make sure you impress everyone with moves you learned from your favorite hockey player.
John impresses everyone with his Tim Thomas-like finesse on the ice. He proves that the more dramatic the fall, the better the player you are.

Now, who's up for a little pond hockey next time?