- Spend more time shoveling off the ice than you do on skates. Sure two women spent twice as long as you did on skates. And they spent the whole time passing the puck around. But you shoveled 2000 yards of ice. That makes you the winner in the manly department.
- Make sure to dress properly Expensive protective gear is for sissys. All you really need is a stick, some gloves, a classic '92 Ray Bourque jersey and a hat. Glass of wine optional.
- Be sure to warm up properly. John learned this move from Tim Thomas. It ensures your muscles are nice and warmed up for moves such as the belly flop, yard sale, and spinning turtle shell. Alcohol is great for raising your body temperature. Especially wine. It shows you are a real classy person.
- Make sure you impress everyone with moves you learned from your favorite hockey player. John impresses everyone with his Tim Thomas-like finesse on the ice. He proves that the more dramatic the fall, the better the player you are.
Now, who's up for a little pond hockey next time?