Favorite Thing # 17: The Office

Before I begin, I must mention that I was not a fan of the Office when it first started. AT ALL. I absolutely refused to watch it with Kevin, stating that it was the biggest waste of my time ever (that's what she said) and not even funny. Steve Carrell's character was so awkward it was embarrassing. But I would catch myself laughing at Dwight and Jim and their mutual hatred and love of each other. In a way, it reminds me of my office mate, the D-Train and I. So, I started watching re-runs on TV, and found that while I still find Michael Scott annoying and pathetic, the show and its cast of characters has grown on me. I thought since it was Dwight and Jim who first made me give the show a chance, I would count down the top 10 pranks Jim has played on Dwight.

10. Jim trains Dwight to want an altoid every time he starts his computer
Using the Pavlovian response theory, Jim spends a month or so offering Dwight a mint every time he reboots his computer until one day, he doesn't and Dwight automatically holds his hand out for a mint. The reason this makes the list is due to his sheer dedication to the art of pranking someone.

Memorable line(s):

• Dwight: My mouth tastes so bad all of a sudden!

9. Jim convinces Dwight he is a vampire

After Dwight accidentally lets a bat that had been living in the ceiling loose into the office, Jim pretends that he is bitten and is now slowly turning into a vampire. He enlists the help of Karen by pretending that the garlic bread and Meredith's cross are burning him, and that the light is too bright. It seems like opportunities to mess with Dwight just fall into his lap.

Memorable line(s):

• Dwight:I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
• Dwight: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a "sylvania." Like PENN-sylvania.

8. Jim places Dwight's stapler in Jell-O

I don't know what makes this prank so great, but it sure is hilarious. In fact, Katie and I put the D-Train's pens in Jell-O. Sadly, he did not react as brilliantly as Dwight. But we still found it funny

Memorable line(s):

• Jim: OK. Dwight, I'm sorry, because I have always been your biggest flan.
• Ryan: Maybe you should put him in custardy

7. Jim (with the help of Pam) convinces Dwight that the CIA wants to recruit him

I was tempted not to include this prank since it was Pam's idea, but it was so great I had to include it. Pam really went above and beyond with this one, sending Dwight letters for months from the "CIA". Jim gets involved and they convince Dwight that the CIA is going to pick him up in a helicopter from the roof of Dunder Mifflin to attend a briefing/ice cream party. They then text Dwight and tell him the mission is compromised and convince him to throw his cellphone off the building.

Memorable line(s):

• Jim (reading Dwight's secrets): Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but really, he was leaving early to go to magic camp. Wow.

6. Jim forms an alliance with Dwight

Worried about the upcoming merger, Dwight approaches Jim about forming an alliance. Once again, pranks just fall into Jim's laps. Jim and Pam convince Dwight that the whole office is working against him and wind up convincing him to dye his hair blond and hide in a box in the shipping during Meredith's birthday party to spy on rival factions.

Memorable line(s):

• Jim: And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him, but only in ways that could get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says "No, Jim, here's a way."
• Dwight: I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are... at vision.

5. Jim sends faxes to Dwight from "future Dwight"

Before he leaves for Stamford, Jim has the foresight to steal a box of Dwight's stationary which he then uses to periodically fax Dwight from "future Dwight". This prank rocks because it illustrates that Jim is really willing to go the distance for a good prank and is constantly planning for the next, even if he is leaving to go to a new office:

Memorable line(s):

• Dwight(reading the fax): At 8 AM today, someone poisons the coffee. Do NOT drink the coffee. More instructions will follow.

4. Jim places all of Dwight's belongings in the vending machine

I wish I knew the vending machine man, because this would be a totally awesome prank to play on someone. Jim even had the foresight to place Dwight's wallet in the machine so he couldn't get his things out. This prank makes the list because it shows that Jim is not totally mean spirited as he does give Dwight a bag of nickels to retrieve his things. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty cents...

Memorable line(s):

• Jim: Oh, dollar for a stapler, that's pretty good.
• Dwight: Okay, fine. Where's my wallet?Jim: Oh, there it is. J1.

3. Jim "helps" Dwight prepare for his speech by teaching him to speak like Mussolini

When Dwight wins salesman of the year, for the Northeastern Pennsylvania Paper products salesman, Jim tells Dwight that he majored in public speaking in college and then tells him that to be an effective public speaker, he needs to pound his fists and yell and scream, like Mussolini. I believe he also "wrote" a Mussolini speech for Dwight. While the prank backfired, as the audience ate it up, it was still extremely hilarious

Memorable line(s):

• Jim: The great speakers throughout history were not joke tellers. They were people of passion. So if you want to do well today, you got to do what they did.Dwight: Which is?Jim: You've got to wave your arms and you've got to pound your fists. Many times. It's supposed to emphasize your point.
• Jim: Ok, I didn't actually major in Public Speaking. But, I did download speeches from some of history's famous dictators. Like this one [holds up paper]. Originally given by Benito Mussolini.

2. Jim convinces Dwight that it is Friday, not Thursday

How do so many great pranks just fall in Jim's lap? When Dwight mistakenly thinks it is Friday, Jim (with the assistance of Pam) go along with it. Cut to Friday with Dwight flying into the office, disheveled yelling "ITS OKAY, I'M HERE."

Memorable line(s):

• Jim: Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.
• Dwight: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night; what the hell was I thinking?

1. Jim dresses as Dwight

This prank still makes me laugh out loud when I think of it. It just shows how Jim is always thinking on his feet. When he comes across a pair of "Dwight glasses" at the Thrift store, the idea is born. Add a shirt, tie, briefcase and bobblehead and presto - instant Dwight.

Memorable line(s):

• Jim (as Dwight): Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
• Jim (as Dwight): Question, which type of bear is best
• Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
  

Honorable mention: nickels in the phone headset, popping of the "fitness orb", routing all Dwight's calls to Jim's phone, convincing Dwight to tell the waitress at Benihana how to butcher a goose, convincing Dwight to buy a women's purse, moving Dwight's desk to the bathroom and playing "hot and cold" so that he can find the desk.

And now I leave you with a hilarious video of the best Jim/Dwight pranks

Favorite Thing #16: Vampires

It seems that vampires are everywhere in the media lately. From the Twilight obsession to HBO's show True Blood, you can't go a day without being reminded that vampires are the new, hot trend in entertainment. In my opinion, vampires have continuously been pop-culture icons. I'm not sure what makes them so fascinating, especially: it could be the element of danger that all us women love, the fact that they are most always gorgeous, the fact that they have had hundreds or even thousands of years of experience or that they are frequently portrayed as falling hard in love once they do. When a vampire tells you he will love you forever, he literally means forever. Since I love any and all things vampires (especially hot vampires), I thought I'd give a synopsis of my favorite vampires from screen and paper.



5. Bunnicula ( Bunnicula Series by James Howe)
A cute and cuddly white bunny with blood red eyes, fangs and a penchant for draining vegetables of all their juice. His vampire-like attributes and appearance scare the family cat, Chester, enough for him to go through a series of attempts to kill the vampire bunny (the best of which involved trying to kill him with a steak …)



4. Eric Northman (Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris)
While people may pick Bill over Eric because he was Sookie’s first love, I find him as dry and boring as his name. Give me mischievous Eric any day. A true Lothario, he tricks Sookie into drinking his blood so that they can be connected for all time, and constantly tries to get her into bed with him. Yet at the same time, he does incredibly thoughtful things like have her driveway fixed and buy her a beautiful new coat when hers gets covered in blood and ruined. A vampire with a heart of gold is nothing new to literature, but Harris’s lighthearted portrayal is. I can’t wait to see how he is portrayed in True Blood, the new HBO series based on the Sookie Stackhouse books, but judging by the actor they picked, he should be as deliciously exciting as he is in print.

3. Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with the Vampire)
While tempted to exclude Lestat from the list due to my hatred of all things Tom Cruise, I had to include him as this probably is one of Tom Cruise’s least puke worthy performances. One of the great anti-heroes of all times, Lestat makes you hate and love vampires all at the same time with his bratty behavior, and God-like complex.

2. Edward Cullen (Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer)
Sexy, sparkling, romantic and brooding – what more can you ask for. Edward denies the monster within him, becoming a “vegetarian vampire” along with the rest of the Cullen clan. He even refrains from drinking Bella’s blood (His Tua Cantante) and falls in love with her. So in love, that he is willing to forgo his happiness to allow her a chance at a normal life. So in love that when he thinks Bella is dead, he tries to kill himself rather than live in a world where Bella does not exist. He devotes his life to protecting her, even though she is a terribly annoying, clumsy, whiny girl. Edward also refuses to sleep with Bella until they are married. He’s just a Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. The only thing that keeps him from being the top fictional vampire of all time is his egotistical attitude that he always knows what is best for someone else. He left Bella because he thought she was better off without him, and we were forced to suffer through hundreds of pages of her pining away for Edward, whining the whole time.

1. Count von Count (Sesame Street)
The all time best fiction vampire title belongs to Count von Count.

Widow’s peak – check
Fangs – check
White Dress Shirt and Cape – check
Creepy Transylvannian Accent and Laugh– check and check

You may be thinking that these are all characteristics of other vampires, most notably Bela Lugosi’s interpretation of Count Dracula, but what makes the Count the greatest vampire of all time, besides all of the classic vampire characteristics, is his obsession with counting. A fictional vampire with OCD! This appeals directly to me, as I have also been accused of having OCD, as I separate and count things before I eat them. If you have ever seen me eat Dots or M&M’s, you know what I am talking about. I also once rode all the way to Boston from Braintree on the subway, counting the subway stops out loud in the Count voice. Cailin was less than thrilled. Thirteen, thirteen more stops. AH AH AH!

Favorite Thing #15: Etsy

A few months ago, my good friends Nicole and Natalie mentioned a neat website that they had bought jewelry off of called Etsy. It is a "online store" of sorts for artists to advertise and sell their goods. It completely slipped my mind until a few weeks ago, when I decided to check out the website and see what it was all about. Let me tell you, this website it glorious! You can find almost anything you could want: Jewelry, pottery, one of a kind clothing, artwork and pretty much anything a person could make. I found two artists, funkychickendesign and mosaico who makes face plates for outlets that I might have to purchase to add a little pizzazz to my decor. Another favorite artist of mine is CorkAndCotton which features handbags made of, you guessed it, cork and cotton. But perhaps the greatest thing about Etsy is that there is a whole category for vintage clothing. Most of the sellers are vintage enthusiasts, like myself and Amy W. who need to reduce their collection, or whose hobby is to find vintage clothing at estate sales, vintage shops, etc. and sell it. Every time you check the website there is something new. And while a lot of it is 80's vintage (a period of time I do NOT find interesting, fashion wise), you can also get some really great stuff for a very reasonable price. Already, I have purchased a blouse (late 70's, early 80's?), a brand new, never worn plaid pea coat from the 60's, two 60's era shirt-dresses and a wasp waist blazer from the 1940's. I am addicted to this site. Its gotten so bad that I check it every morning and every night, for fear that someone will post something amazing and I will miss out. Even if you aren't necessarily a vintage fiend, you can still find some neat things for cheaper than buying new.