5. Bunnicula ( Bunnicula Series by James Howe)
A cute and cuddly white bunny with blood red eyes, fangs and a penchant for draining vegetables of all their juice. His vampire-like attributes and appearance scare the family cat, Chester, enough for him to go through a series of attempts to kill the vampire bunny (the best of which involved trying to kill him with a steak …)
4. Eric Northman (Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris)
While people may pick Bill over Eric because he was Sookie’s first love, I find him as dry and boring as his name. Give me mischievous Eric any day. A true Lothario, he tricks Sookie into drinking his blood so that they can be connected for all time, and constantly tries to get her into bed with him. Yet at the same time, he does incredibly thoughtful things like have her driveway fixed and buy her a beautiful new coat when hers gets covered in blood and ruined. A vampire with a heart of gold is nothing new to literature, but Harris’s lighthearted portrayal is. I can’t wait to see how he is portrayed in True Blood, the new HBO series based on the Sookie Stackhouse books, but judging by the actor they picked, he should be as deliciously exciting as he is in print.
3. Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with the Vampire)
While tempted to exclude Lestat from the list due to my hatred of all things Tom Cruise, I had to include him as this probably is one of Tom Cruise’s least puke worthy performances. One of the great anti-heroes of all times, Lestat makes you hate and love vampires all at the same time with his bratty behavior, and God-like complex.
2. Edward Cullen (Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer)
Sexy, sparkling, romantic and brooding – what more can you ask for. Edward denies the monster within him, becoming a “vegetarian vampire” along with the rest of the Cullen clan. He even refrains from drinking Bella’s blood (His Tua Cantante) and falls in love with her. So in love, that he is willing to forgo his happiness to allow her a chance at a normal life. So in love that when he thinks Bella is dead, he tries to kill himself rather than live in a world where Bella does not exist. He devotes his life to protecting her, even though she is a terribly annoying, clumsy, whiny girl. Edward also refuses to sleep with Bella until they are married. He’s just a Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. The only thing that keeps him from being the top fictional vampire of all time is his egotistical attitude that he always knows what is best for someone else. He left Bella because he thought she was better off without him, and we were forced to suffer through hundreds of pages of her pining away for Edward, whining the whole time.
1. Count von Count (Sesame Street)
The all time best fiction vampire title belongs to Count von Count.
Widow’s peak – check
Fangs – check
White Dress Shirt and Cape – check
Creepy Transylvannian Accent and Laugh– check and check
You may be thinking that these are all characteristics of other vampires, most notably Bela Lugosi’s interpretation of Count Dracula, but what makes the Count the greatest vampire of all time, besides all of the classic vampire characteristics, is his obsession with counting. A fictional vampire with OCD! This appeals directly to me, as I have also been accused of having OCD, as I separate and count things before I eat them. If you have ever seen me eat Dots or M&M’s, you know what I am talking about. I also once rode all the way to Boston from Braintree on the subway, counting the subway stops out loud in the Count voice. Cailin was less than thrilled. Thirteen, thirteen more stops. AH AH AH!
Sexy, sparkling, romantic and brooding – what more can you ask for. Edward denies the monster within him, becoming a “vegetarian vampire” along with the rest of the Cullen clan. He even refrains from drinking Bella’s blood (His Tua Cantante) and falls in love with her. So in love, that he is willing to forgo his happiness to allow her a chance at a normal life. So in love that when he thinks Bella is dead, he tries to kill himself rather than live in a world where Bella does not exist. He devotes his life to protecting her, even though she is a terribly annoying, clumsy, whiny girl. Edward also refuses to sleep with Bella until they are married. He’s just a Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. The only thing that keeps him from being the top fictional vampire of all time is his egotistical attitude that he always knows what is best for someone else. He left Bella because he thought she was better off without him, and we were forced to suffer through hundreds of pages of her pining away for Edward, whining the whole time.
1. Count von Count (Sesame Street)
The all time best fiction vampire title belongs to Count von Count.
Widow’s peak – check
Fangs – check
White Dress Shirt and Cape – check
Creepy Transylvannian Accent and Laugh– check and check
You may be thinking that these are all characteristics of other vampires, most notably Bela Lugosi’s interpretation of Count Dracula, but what makes the Count the greatest vampire of all time, besides all of the classic vampire characteristics, is his obsession with counting. A fictional vampire with OCD! This appeals directly to me, as I have also been accused of having OCD, as I separate and count things before I eat them. If you have ever seen me eat Dots or M&M’s, you know what I am talking about. I also once rode all the way to Boston from Braintree on the subway, counting the subway stops out loud in the Count voice. Cailin was less than thrilled. Thirteen, thirteen more stops. AH AH AH!
6 comments:
Vampires are amazing. I can however, think of one very UNSEXY vampire movie: From Dusk Till Dawn, which is demented and gory and gross and I kind of like it, mostly because it has George Clooney (with a full body tattoo, no less!) in it. But the vampires in that are totally creepy and nasty.
And remember, according to Noe, Bunnicula doesn't exist :)
Um Count Chocula????
So first of all, you did not wind up including Dr. Acula (you remove the period and squish it together to make Dracula!) You should have listed the entire Cullen clan with Edward being the most amazing. Then in passing, mention Carlyle being Dr. Acula (for all intensive purposes). Besides, who can forget Emmett and his fascination with how clumsy Bella is!
Another thing: that trip from Braintree to Boston. What was going on through MY head during your Sesame Street counting was "Two stops, two stops left until I kill Amanda. AH AH AH"
Dr. Acula at LEAST deserves an honorable mention!
I've never seen "Blade" and kept on falling asleep during "Underworld," but think we should watch these for research purposes. I think "Vanhelsing" should go on the list of worse vampire movies of all time though. Anyway, this is pretty much besides the point. I'm sure that John will argue that Bunnicula is the number one vampire of all time.
What about the classic "Nosferatu"? Before people had tongues in movies, that film absolutely scared the pellets out of people.
Hey Amanda, hope this isn't bad etiquette, but I'm a local cartoonist (Springfield) who's up for a vote in your daily paper, 'The Day'. I write the newly-syndicated comic strip "DeFlocked" (recently endorsed by Larry David!)
Would you mind checking out my work at www.deflocked.com, and then maybe pulling the lever for me at http://archive.theday.com/re.aspx?re=e4bd916f-3274-4127-bcc6-8f3249869f02
It would only take a second, and it would be a HUGE help to me (voting ends Tuesday 9/16). And spread the word!
Thanks - I really really appreciate it.
Jeff Corriveau
jeff@deflocked.com
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